# Tired of taming



## Lifer (Apr 24, 2016)

I have started taming this budgie about 2 months ago, with a pseudo-routine that was more sporadic than routine-y. About a month ago I had a week of "intensive" taming (reading everyday at the same hour, with my hand near the cage, the last day even inside the cage).

Fast forward to 14 August (I was unable to be with the budgie meanwhile, and when I could, couldn't do a proper session, I just chirped to him).

Well, since about 14 August I have been everyday with the lad, talked to him through the day occasionally (chirping or regular talk) and he doesn't seem to mind. In fact, sometimes, when I have my face near the bars of the cage and chirp softly, he comes more near me. He even, rarely, has the courage to nibble the bars of the cage, like he wants to kiss me or something.

This is it. I have tried very slowly. This was what I did (chronological order, like, first days I did 1., next days I did 2, etc. Every method is while I talk, read or chirp to him, for about 1h, or more with pauses)
1. Hands outside the cage, but near (this was before 13 august)
2. Finger inside the cage, through the bars
(He has nibbled on it the first day; the second day he was jumping around the cage happily and perched on the finger VERY QUICKLY but about 5 times, as well as in his perches)
3. Hand inside the cage. 
(Now, here he has been more quiet. Lots of the time he sings, even if my hand is near him. He's happy if I don't get the hand too near. 
But sometimes he's singing, my hand is too close and he changes the perch, then proceeds to sing more)
The last days I tried to make him perch on my finger. He would, but would fly away immediatly.
4. Today was the first day I tried it. I Put the hand inside the cage with millet (in grains). He wasn't interested and tried to get away. So, I took my hand out of the cage and waited a while. Some time later I came back and did the same. He moved away, but after about 20 minutes, he ate from my hand about two or three grains of millet. I waited more 15 minutes and gave up.

I'm sharing this because today I got a little tired - I'm losing my hope and therefore my patience. Should I continue? Will I get results?
If I talk less to him during the day, will he appreciate more the time of the tame session?
Should I do shorter taming sessions so he just appreciates them more?
Should I give up or do you thing we're having huge progress and soon he'll eat more from my hand?


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## Birdbaby (Jun 11, 2016)

I cannot offer advice as I am in the same situation. But I can offer my understanding.
I was giving it my all and my budgies have not progressed further than, not freaking out when I change there cage paper/food and water, and one of them will step up and let me take her out of the cage but then fly's else where. 

I'm sure if you continue to try with your bird you will make progress, but as to how far it will go, I'm not sure.

Best of luck to you


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## aluz (Jul 24, 2011)

On this thread http://talkbudgies.com/taming-bonding/361402-visitor-birdie.html you have mentioned training your friend's budgie. 
This in itself can be more troublesome and adds an entirely new barrier since this budgie isn't yours and by having a more limited access you won't be able to keep the training sessions consistent.

When it comes to the time spent on each training session, from my experience I found the shorter sessions of about 20 minutes to be more effective. 
Depending on availability, these sessions can be done 2 - 3 times per day.

It's up to you if you want to invest your time in taming your friend's budgie. Doing so when your heart is no longer in it would only be counter productive.
If you are willing to continue with the training, you will have to be in a positive frame of mind, leave the negativity, hopelessness and frustrations aside in order to create an inviting atmosphere where the budgie will be more receptive to interact with you.


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## Therm (Aug 2, 2015)

Aluz has offered great advice. 

If you are frustrated and upset by the training this won't be good for any training sessions at all. 
You're going to have to decide what will work best for you. It is hard work to tame a budgie but so many budgie owners can tell you that it is worth the effort.


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## FaeryBee (May 9, 2011)

*aluz has offered you the best possible advice under the circumstances.*


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## Lifer (Apr 24, 2016)

Thank you! I know being frustrated doesn't help but I came here more for sharing the problems, and as Birdbaby did, see some understanding, that sometimes is the best help. I also loved the tip on doing more sessions of less time.


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## Therm (Aug 2, 2015)

Hopefully sharing the problem will help.  And the understanding too. 
The questions at the end were why I chipped in as it seemed like you were also seeking advice on where to go. Luckily, Aluz offered good advice and I think that might be great for you. 

Keep up the good work.


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## Lifer (Apr 24, 2016)

Sure, I mean I was putting them out and if there's advice to be given i accepted it  you were right

EDIT: And also some kind of "diagnose", if we're going in the right path and doing things right


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## Budget baby (Jan 1, 2013)

Often if you try to hard it can become a challenge rather than a loving , fun relationship built on trust and kindness. I think shorter and more spontaneous interaction woks the best. I know with my budgies it did.:green pied:


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## Lifer (Apr 24, 2016)

Today was the first day he stepped up to my hand, confidently, while eating!

edit: I have followed the advice on doing shorter sessions and it really helps.


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## StarlingWings (Mar 15, 2013)

That's wonderful news! I'm so glad that you were able to find a method that worked better for both of you :thumbsup: 

Keep up the great work! :clap:


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## RavensGryf (May 8, 2015)

That is a wonderful update! Your work seems to be paying off .

As Cathy (Pretty Boy) mentioned regarding trying too hard, sometimes if you try too hard, it will only lead to frustration of the situation, and no good will come of it.

I have a very challenging case personally, and this is what I did... One of my parrots developed a severe phobic disorder when he was about a year old. We have come a long way so far in the past year and a half for this 'work in progress'. I didn't so much dedicate specific "training session time" to Griffin, but I used consistent techniques around him every single time we were in the room, and he was out of his cage.

First I gave him a ton of space and watched for his body language cues to back off and go away for a bit at the slightest hint of discomfort with gentle interaction. It looks like you're already past that point with your bird, so that is good . For anyone else reading, I want to mention, this stage can be super discouraging, and took many months to see any sign of improvement, but I kept at it. This step is essential though, before a bird will accept training. Gaining trust in a fearful bird, (even without a phobic disorder) can take a long time with certain individuals and is a very long slow process. Consistency is really key. Don't give up! Next, little by little, and I mean VERY small steps over a long period of time.. closely watching body language cues I was able to hold up my index finger over his beak to teach "gentle" (no biting), then he'd let me quickly touch his beak for a second (progress!) and he got praise. Later I was able to touch his beak for a second longer, reminding him of 'gentle', then praise. Finally, over a year after this rehab training began, I can show Griffin my finger and he will let me touch the feathers on his forehead for a quick split second. After a couple months I could touch his forehead at times (depending on his mood) for about one second now. We are still working on more. I don't know how far he will finally ever come, but it doesn't matter. I get joy from him regardless. He will also step up for a second to get a treat, and knows voice commands to "go home" (leave Raven's cage after playing) and "in" to go in his own cage.

So, I didn't so much as dedicate specific "training time", as I just consistently worked with him and guided him daily when we were out in the room together. That way, the progress happened naturally for Griffin, and was less stressful and less discouraging for me. Keep in mind it is a work in progress, and took a very long time so far, but I'm so pleased in his progress, and if I may say so, it leaves me with a good feeling of accomplishment as well 

Okay.. I only wanted to share a snippet of Griffin's story to let you know you don't have to dedicate intense training sessions if you find it too stressful or like a chore. Also to encourage and remind people that training a bird from the point of being fearful 'can' take a _very_ long time depending on the individual, and some individuals never want to become super tame and handleable even after their fear is over. Don't give up. I am an imapatient person by nature, so if I can do this, set your mind to it and anyone can too. :thumbsup:


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## shaz128blue (Feb 18, 2009)

Great thread guys, I bonded only with honey in her last 18 months ( after nearly 8 of bad biting) and now I want to bond with my two babies asap, as i miss that closeness. I also would like them to be ok with me touching them when we go away in November as I will have to move them via the travel cage. 
So this thread is quite reassuring and helpful, I just keep going with what I'm doing I think. 
Thank you xx


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