# Struggling to bond with my budgie?!



## Rocketthebudgie

Hi everyone I'm new to the site, recently became a new budgie owner and struggling to bond with my companion. 

I've had him for about 3 weeks now. So far he is willing to take millet from me when held between my fingers and out of my hand if close enough! However he will only do so AFTER he has fluttered around for a few seconds, and only if i am slow about it.
He won't hop into my hand to eat.
I have let him out of the cage by slowly pressing a short wooden perch to his chest repeating the command "up" and he eventually steps on with persuasion and i carry him out of the cage. Same method used to get him back in.

But I feel he is still afraid of me and doesn't trust him. He won't let me pet him or my hands near him even to perch on. Still seems panicked when i change food/drink/toys. Can someone please offer some advice or techniques to get him to trust and love me?! I still feel like the bad woman who took him away from his friends at the garden centre/pet shop! 

However he does make a lot of noise when i wake up and greet him, does that add to anything? 
I want rocket to trust and love me it's very fustrating!

Any help appreciated, thanks! 
P.S. attached is a photo of my beautiful boy


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## Therm

Did you follow the advice on here with regards to getting Rocket used to you when you first bought him home? To talk to him and to get him used to your hand being on the cage while you talk to him? 

For example, Skye, my latest budgie is still very new to our home so I don't try and do anything besides change his food and water daily, which is very close to his perch and he stays very still while I do this. besides from this, I sit and talk to him every day.
This should build up trust and let him get used to me and then when I put my hand on and in the cage in time, he should not be afraid that I'll do anything that would startle him. 

Maybe take a few steps back and try going over these steps first before trying to continue to feed Rocket on your hand. I'm sure you'll get there.


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## Rocketthebudgie

When i first got him i always greeted him and hovered over the cage putting hands on the cage and frequently changing food and water. Now when I do it he's fine with it though when he's on his high perch near the top of the cage when i put my hands there he's cautious. One day when my partner was home he managed to scratch rockets head through the cage.
What steps should i take to get him used to me?


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## Therm

The general advice is spend a week just talking/singing/reading to your budgie for around 15 minutes at a time. Try this for a week before doing the same thing with your hands touching the cage. Again, do this for a week and then start by putting your hand in the cage. 
Once your budgie has got used to your hand in the cage you can try moving your hand slowly towards him. Watch his body language and if he moves away, move your hand back. 
If you get him so he is unafraid of your hand and then try and offer food, he should be less reluctant to hop on.


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## LynandIndigo

Do you also offer your budgie a verity of veggies as well. You can give him carrot, silver beat, corn, snow peas,Brocilli a piece of Apple no apple seeds they are toxic.

Don't give your budgie Onion, avocado, chocolate dairy products. All toxic.

You have a lot of patience when training a new budgie he is still trying to adjust to his new cage and you and his new home.... Talk to him you can sing to him so he gets use to your voice..

You could try slowly putting your hand in his cage with millet in your hand and he may jump onto your hand do this every day but as I said do it slowly you have to build up his trust and you have to build a bond with him it could take months.. Leave your hand in the cage for a few minutes so he gets use to your hand.... But don't lose hope keep trying.. You will win your budgies heart and build a special bond and trust just takes time and patience....


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## philw

Rocket really looks like a nice young hen to me, but all you need to do with starting to bond, is to give her time and continue with millet and don't push her. Budgies are individuals and do thing in their time. Three weeks in not very long. Some budgies may not bond before three months or more. You're doing fine for only three weeks.


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## Budget baby

Hello and welcome to TB, it is a bit stressful and confusing for both you and the budgie when she first comes home.
You have to remember you have taken her away from her world that she knew, three weeks is still a very short amount of time. You have made huge gains so far and I feel you may be expecting too much too soon from Rocket,
Budgies do not like to be pat, or held, they are a flight /fright response bird their natural instinct is to GO ! Here are some link for you to read through.
http://talkbudgies.com/training-bonding/40825-bonding-training-tips-click-here.html
http://talkbudgies.com/training-bonding/268281-suggestions-help-you-bond-new-budgie.html


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## Rocketthebudgie

Thank you everyone! I've fed rocket strawberries before but he wasn't too keen. So far he's fine with me around the cage and my hand in the cage. Whenever I fed him though I didn't place my hand in the cage waiting I slowly approached him, if he moved away i would leave him be for a while then try again. 
I'll try leaving my hand in there with some millet and let him come to me. It's a relief to know that after 3 weeks ive actually made good progress i thought we were behind! He is about 12 weeks old though if that makes a difference?
Also how do you identify if your budgie is male or female? I just assume he's male purely because he sings so much


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## Budget baby

If you post a face on picture not using a flash then our experts will give you their opinion regarding your budgies sex.


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## Rocketthebudgie

Here's a photo of my little beauty!


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## philw

Confirmed. a nice young girl and a beauty.


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## Rocketthebudgie

How can you tell she's a girl?


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## Rocketthebudgie

Success this evening! After holding a handful of millet close to her she ate out of my hand no flapping about. When I brought more millet she wasn't interested but as I pressed on her chest slightly she stepped into my hand and sat falling asleep for a half hour, I moved my hand slowly around the cage every now and again, she still didn't budge! What should I do now apart from repeat the process?


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## Therm

You can tell she is female as she has white on her cere.

By comparison, here is Skye, a male budgie and comparing it to yours you should be able to see a difference.










Congratulations. I'd keep trying the same thing for a few days and see how you go.


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## StarlingWings

Hello and welcome to the forums! :wave: 

I agree that taking it slow and waiting until she's ready will help you with bonding. Trust is built, not bought  

Oh, and she's definitely a beautiful girl! If you want a more "girly" name, what about Rockette?  

You can tell because the area around her nostrils (the cere) is whitish and pale blue, as it is in all young females. Young males have pink or purplish ceres which eventually turn the characteristic royal blue  

It's great to have you with us and if you have any other questions please be sure to ask as we'd love to help! :welcome:


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