# How do I help Kai Kai?



## Houdini/Kyikyi (Aug 10, 2021)

My beautiful boy, Houdini, passed on Friday. I only had him for 6 1/2 years. My heart is broken. He was chirpy, eating and flying around. Still playing with his toys even to the last. He then dropped from the branch dead suddenly. I am still in shock and pain. The tears do not help.
My biggest concern though is my baby boy Kai. They have been together from 8 weeks old when I purchased them. He is calling all the time. Flying around and around looking for Houdini. He sometimes goes very quiet.
How do I help my baby boy to heal? I have put a photo of Houdini in the cage. He has all his favourite toys. I am still playing the same radio station they have always had. I am giving him all his favourite fruit and vegetables. I am talking to him constantly. I am almost always at home. I am still following the same routine of putting him in his room at night at the same time and collecting him at the same time. I do not know what else do to to help him through this loss.
It breaks my heart, even more, watching him. He is really missing Houdini, as I am too.
My son said I should give him away to someone who has other budgies. I can't do that. I can't send him to a strange place. I will miss him too much too. Am I being selfish?


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## Aozane (Sep 23, 2021)

I am so sorry for your loss—I will grieve alongside you and Kai. It is so hard to lose a being so close to us.

If you are still able to care for Kai, there is no reason to send him away (where he would, in best practices, need to endure a 30-day quarantine before getting to be with other budgies). I believe that would actually be harder on both of you. Budgies experience loss and grief too, so you are both going through a hard and painful time. It is good that you have each other as flock-mates in this difficult time.

I wish it were easier or that I had a quick fix, but it will take time to grieve and recover from such loss. It sounds to me like you are already doing everything that you can—keeping routine, being present, paying attention, and attending to your own grief. That may feel like it could not possibly be enough, but it is enormously helpful for Kai.

The pain does ease—it can just take time. Fly high, Houdini.


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## Cody (Sep 5, 2013)

Sorry for the loss of Houdini, I agree with the previous post, there is no reason to rehome Kai, that would make things worse for him, going into a strange home on top of his grief is not the answer. You are all grieving and it takes time to heal. 🌹


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## Houdini/Kyikyi (Aug 10, 2021)

Aozane said:


> I am so sorry for your loss—I will grieve alongside you and Kai. It is so hard to lose a being so close to us.
> 
> If you are still able to care for Kai, there is no reason to send him away (where he would, in best practices, need to endure a 30-day quarantine before getting to be with other budgies). I believe that would actually be harder on both of you. Budgies experience loss and grief too, so you are both going through a hard and painful time. It is good that you have each other as flock-mates in this difficult time.
> 
> ...


Thank you so much for your kind words and advice. I did not want to send him away. It would hurt me to do that. I only want what is best for him.



Cody said:


> Sorry for the loss of Houdini, I agree with the previous post, there is no reason to rehome Kai, that would make things worse for him, going into a strange home on top of his grief is not the answer. You are all grieving and it takes time to heal. 🌹


Thank you I appreciate your reply. I would have been devastated to give Kai away. But his wellbeing is my priority.



Houdini/Kyikyi said:


> My beautiful boy, Houdini, passed on Friday. I only had him for 6 1/2 years. My heart is broken. He was chirpy, eating and flying around. Still playing with his toys even to the last. He then dropped from the branch dead suddenly. I am still in shock and pain. The tears do not help.
> My biggest concern though is my baby boy Kai. They have been together from 8 weeks old when I purchased them. He is calling all the time. Flying around and around looking for Houdini. He sometimes goes very quiet.
> How do I help my baby boy to heal? I have put a photo of Houdini in the cage. He has all his favourite toys. I am still playing the same radio station they have always had. I am giving him all his favourite fruit and vegetables. I am talking to him constantly. I am almost always at home. I am still following the same routine of putting him in his room at night at the same time and collecting him at the same time. I do not know what else do to to help him through this loss.
> It breaks my heart, even more, watching him. He is really missing Houdini, as I am too.
> My son said I should give him away to someone who has other budgies. I can't do that. I can't send him to a strange place. I will miss him too much too. Am I being selfish?


I played some budgie sounds on Youtube and that seemed to help Kai. He started chirping again and even ate better.
He is still looking for Houdini though. I am confident that we will help each other through this loss.


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## FaeryBee (May 9, 2011)

*I'm very sorry for your loss of Houdini.

Kai is going to be fine. However, it really isn't a good idea to play budgie sounds very often as it will confuse him.
I would also remove the photo of Houdini from the cage, having it there really isn't going to help Kai in any way.

Continue to play his music for him, talk to him and give him time to grieve. The more you can interact with him, the better off he will be.
Definitely don't rehome him -- the best thing for his health and well-being is to be with you in familiar surroundings knowing how much you love him.*


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## srirachaseahawk (Sep 5, 2021)

Completely agree with the above. 
He needs time and attention from you so that he doesn’t feel alone.


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## Houdini/Kyikyi (Aug 10, 2021)

FaeryBee said:


> *I'm very sorry for your loss of Houdini.
> 
> Kai is going to be fine. However, it really isn't a good idea to play budgie sounds very often as it will confuse him.
> I would also remove the photo of Houdini from the cage, having it there really isn't going to help Kai in any way.
> ...


Thank you for the advice. I will remove the photo as well as turn off the sounds. I only want him to be okay.


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## Houdini/Kyikyi (Aug 10, 2021)

Kai is still hardly eating, playing or chirping. He used to be vocal all day long. I talk to him throughout the day. I put all his favourite foods out. He loved corn, broccoli, pear, carrot, and Asian broccoli the most, but does not touch any of it now. I add other vegetables and fruit, but he stays mostly in his cage. He does not even fly around a lot like he used to. He would land on the chairs, benchtop and the floor to play. I do not know how else to help him. Any suggestion on how to get him to eat? I am worried about him.


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## FaeryBee (May 9, 2011)

*How many days has it been now since Houdini passed?
Is Kai losing weight? 
Are you weighing him daily?
How old is Kai?

Have you considered getting another budgie? If so, you will need to quarantine it before introducing the two in neutral territory.
Quarantine means housing the new bird in a different cage in a different room than the current bird (as far away from the room the current bird is in as possible) for a period of 35-45 days.

Budgies mask symptoms when they are ill. Symptoms may not show up for over two weeks. 
Often you will not even realize your bird is not well. Many budgie illnesses are airborne which is why you need to quarantine your new bird in a completely different room.
*
*Quarantine - Is it Really that Important?*
*Quarantine Your Birds*


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## Houdini/Kyikyi (Aug 10, 2021)

FaeryBee said:


> *How many days has it been now since Houdini passed?
> Is Kai losing weight?
> Are you weighing him daily?
> How old is Kai?
> ...


It is 5 days since Houdini passed. He seems to be the same in weight. He is also 6 1/2 years old. He is eating a little better today. he even had some pumpkin and pear.

I was thinking of getting another bird, but I was told that because Kai is also quite old it would happen all over again and I will end up with one budgie again


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## FaeryBee (May 9, 2011)

*Five days isn't very long and it is going to take more time for Kai to adjust. You need to be patient with him and yourself.
Ensure he continues to eat. Don't give him too much fruit -- vegetables are better for him.
Have you ever weighed him? Are you able to handle him?*


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## Houdini/Kyikyi (Aug 10, 2021)

FaeryBee said:


> *Five days isn't very long and it is going to take more time for Kai to adjust. You need to be patient with him and yourself.
> Ensure he continues to eat. Don't give him too much fruit -- vegetables are better for him.
> Have you ever weighed him? Are you able to handle him?*


I have never handled him. he has not been weighed. They have never been ill, so I never needed to go to a vet. I am still in shock at the loss of Houdini as he was his usual chirpy, active self and was eating as normal.


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## Houdini/Kyikyi (Aug 10, 2021)

Houdini/Kyikyi said:


> I have never handled him. he has not been weighed. They have never been ill, so I never needed to go to a vet. I am still in shock at the loss of Houdini as he was his usual chirpy, active self and was eating as normal.


Besides pear and pumpkin, today there are corn, broccoli, spinach. I put different vegetables daily.


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## Houdini/Kyikyi (Aug 10, 2021)

I am happy to report that Kai is almost his normal self. It has been a hard road, with lots of attention and persistence. He is eating well again, playing with his toys, flying around, being a lot more vocal. and is finally having naps again. He seems to still look for Houdini, especially at night before I put him into his room for the night. We have a bit of a way to go but we have been there for each other, and slowly healing from our loss of Houdini.
Thank you to everyone who helped me get through this with your kind words and advice.


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## FaeryBee (May 9, 2011)

*I'm glad to hear that Kai has made good progress in his journey through grief. 
I'm certain you have been a huge comfort to him during this time, and he to you as well.
Best wishes. 💜💜*


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