# Need advice about my Gwen



## Aithusa (Oct 20, 2014)

Hello, recently my Gwen lost her long time buddy. They were together for over 7 years. They both were not tamed and never wanted to leave their cage. 
Since Arthur is gone(about 10days now) we talk a lot and started training a bit. She was always less afraid and even at one point, years ago, would step on my finger but then we moved and ever since she does not want. 
She loves to eat millet out of my hand, and they both always liked that. I am trying now to hand train her, to step on my finger and maybe even leave cage. But she always walks away when i put my finger near, and i back off. Should i not or is it okay giving her space? Sometimes she will not move, but kinda bite it a little. And sometimes she is calm and does not move, but that does not last long even though my hand is perfectly still.
I got advice to not put finger in front of her, but put crossbar or something like that. I am not sure if that is good advice? She is not scared of me. She loves when we talk, and moves closer. 
She is not type bird to play with her toys, she sings, sleeps or eats....and now that she is alone i want to make sure she is not lonely or unhappy. So any advice is more than welcome. Thank you. I am putting her picture so you can see how beautiful my little princess is


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## Cody (Sep 5, 2013)

If she bites or nips at your finger then she is telling you back off, so that is what you need to do in the moment. You have to take your cues from her and go at her pace. My birds are not tame but they will step up for me but only on a rope perch, never my finger and usually not anything else. What happens if you leave the cage door open, does she show any interest at all in even exploring an open door? If you leave the door open and sit by the cage and talk to her, maybe offering some millet at the door, in time she may decide to come closer. With Arthur gone you may need to spend extra time with her so she does not feel alone.


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## Aithusa (Oct 20, 2014)

She shows no interest in going out. I could leave door open all the time she will not leave. One summer i put those bird bath on door and they never went in. Maybe i will try with perch she is familiar with. Cause she gets very scared of new stuff like new toys or perches. 
It's a little confusing how is she scared of fingers cause she eats spray millet of them. 
We are spending lots of time talking, and few times a day, for short periods of time i put my hand in cage. I don't want to overwhelm her with it.


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## RavensGryf (May 8, 2015)

Right now, Gwen is most likely still grieving for Arthur. It's good that you talk to her, and spend time near her cage. Some budgies prefer to be left alone for a little while after they loose a friend. But the grieving process doesn't take too long to get over for birds.

She may over time, decide to warm up to you more, or not. Each individual will react differently. It's clear Gwen already isn't afraid of you. Just give her time right now, and remember, _if_ she wants to become closer to you, she will do it on her terms. All th best with her.


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## Aithusa (Oct 20, 2014)

Thank you for your advices. I will keep her pace, and that is for now very slowly. I am fine with her not want to bond much, whatever she likes. I just wish i can get her to leave her cage, so she doesnt spend her life in it alone. If you know what i mean.


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## FaeryBee (May 9, 2011)

*Do give little Gwen time to grieve. 
It is very good that you are spending lots of time talking with her every day.

To build your budgie's trust, sit by her cage and read, talk or sing quietly to her for a period of at least 10-15 minutes, 3 or 4 times day. 
After the 2nd or 3rd day, rest your hand on the outside of the cage when you talk to her so she'll learn that your hand is safe and will not hurt her.

After a week, rest your hand inside the cage when you talk. 
Don't make sudden moves, don't try to touch her. 
Let her get used to the idea that the hand is now in her safe place and not harming her.

After 2 weeks, begin moving your hand slowly toward your budgie. If she becomes agitated, stop moving your hand and just hold very still until she calms down. When she's comfortable with your hand near her, you can offer her a bit of millet or a few seeds. In a few more days, you can begin your taming and bonding sessions.

Always work at your budgie's pace. 
Move slowly and talk reassuringly and calmly to her whenever you interact with her.*


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## Aithusa (Oct 20, 2014)

Thank you FaeryBee, we are now at the phase where she will eat millet out of my hand, and also she is calm when i rest my hand without millet inside the cage by the door. She freaks out if i try to move my hand closer to her, so for now i don't. She doesn't move or freak if i have millet in my hand. I am adding two pictures to see how she looks in training. 
Also she doesn't flinch like she used to when i get near, or when i walk past her cage. She loves being talk to and even moves closer.


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## RavensGryf (May 8, 2015)

That’s great to hear that Gwen has adjusted to being single, and is warming up to you!


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## JasnaM (Jan 22, 2016)

How is she doing? It's so strange she doesn't want to leave her cage, mine started flying around since day 1. I was worried they wouldn't want to go back in but they go in on their own.


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## FaeryBee (May 9, 2011)

*


JasnaM said:



How is she doing? It's so strange she doesn't want to leave her cage, mine started flying around since day 1. I was worried they wouldn't want to go back in but they go in on their own.

Click to expand...

Jasna --
Actually, it is not at all strange that Gwen does not want to leave her cage. 
Most budgies view their cage as their "safe place" and often have to develop a great deal of trust in their owner before they are ever comfortable venturing out of it.*


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## JasnaM (Jan 22, 2016)

Mine are some strange birds then lol
If they go inside the cage and I start walking, they are instantly out as if they're worried I might close their door. They were like this from the start mostly. They are outside all the time, only go in when eating or sleeping.


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## Aithusa (Oct 20, 2014)

Hello, so to post a little update. We took steps as advised. Slowly, she is getting more and more comfortable. I can get very near her. She even put one of her "fingers" on my hand all of her own. Lasted short but she did it few times so it's a big step. Guess she is testing it or something. She doesn't move right away when my finger is in front of her. She even moves closer sometimes. 
Somedays she is a little angry and won't allow near so i give her space then. 
She started watching at the cage door and often spreads her wings like she would maybe leave, but doesn't get anywhere near door. The thing that is downside i think, is that cage door are almost at the bottom of the cage and she never goes that low. 
All in all, i think she is advancing, slow pace but still.


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## FaeryBee (May 9, 2011)

*You are making great progress with Gwen - well done!

Perhaps try offering the back of your hand instead of just your finger to her. 
Many budgies prefer stepping onto the back of the hand rather than onto a finger.

Continue taking it slow and enjoy the journey.

Best wishes!*


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## Aithusa (Oct 20, 2014)

Thank you, did as you advised and she is really more comfortable with back of hand than finger. So now i am only doing that. She still won't step on it, and some days feel like we are going two steps back. 
I am working on separating our living room so i can start leaving doors open for her cause she started to spread her wings inside the cage, and that lasts for hours. But she won't go near door.
Is it okay if i leave doors open and wait for her to leave on her own. Cause i feel like she won't be comfortable to step on my hand for a long time and i feel sorry for her to be inside alone all the time. Will she know to go back on her own if she ever dares to leave?


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## FaeryBee (May 9, 2011)

*It's definitely better to let her venture out of her cage on her own rather than trying to convince her to come out. 
Set up a playgym on top of her cage, (or near the cage) put a few perches on the outside of the cage and include a treat or a favorite toy.

Generally, when you first start leaving the door open for her to come out, you're going to need to be sure you have plenty of time in case she doesn't want to go back in. However, I've always had good luck in darkening the room to encourage my birds to go back into their cages. They always want to go into their cages (which are their "safe places" to eat, drink and sleep so keep that in mind.*


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## Aithusa (Oct 20, 2014)

Yeah, thank you i will keep all advices on my mind. I have been told that first times they leave cage are a bit problematic until they get used. 
I just hope she will relax in time and feel free to come to me. Honestly, lately she doesn't want to come near hand and runs up and down the perch. And i wasn't forcing or anything, she just doesn't let me as near as before. But she will clean herself or eat, or drink when my hand is in the cage just not near. 
I feel like we are stuck and not moving forward.


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## FaeryBee (May 9, 2011)

*Being stuck and not moving forward is quite normal. Remember to take things at Gwen's pace even though that's sometimes difficult.

Try putting your hand in the cage and holding it perfectly still with a few seeds on your palm. She may decide to explore and see if she likes them!*


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## RavensGryf (May 8, 2015)

That’s great to hear! It’s normal to have times where progress seems stuck. It typically takes quite a while for birds to go the next step, even when they’re comfortable with you. They’re just cautious little prey animals . But I think you’re doing a great job!


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## Aithusa (Oct 20, 2014)

Thank you. I feel a bit reliefed now. I thought i messed up somewhere. I am just gonna keep doing the same routine and going as close as she will let me. 
Will try the palm thing, but she is much more relaxed with closed fist than open hand.


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## Ditta (May 19, 2013)

Since she is clearly not afraid of you and will eat millet out of your hand, what you could try doing is put the millet on your hand so that she would have to step on you to get to it... Or hold the millet sprig in a closed fist with your index finger sticking out as a perch, that she could get on to reach the millet. Don’t push her, just leave your hand there holding the millet -she may decide the millet is worth getting on your hand for! And once she has done it a couple of times it will be less of a big deal for her, and she will probably do it more and more.


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