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  #1  
Old 05-11-2017, 01:48 AM
Ari
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Unhappy Unable to tame my budgie..

..First of all, I just want to apologize in advance for waisting your time with this, but honestly I'm just an idiot and I've pretty much given up. I've had a budgie for almost 2 years now, but he's still afraid of me. If I'm anywhere in the room, he'll start shaking and become completly mute. He'd rather be closer to the cat than me.. (I know having a cat be in the same apartment is not the smartest idea and certinly doesn't make him feel safe, but honestly I can't do much, my sister wanted a budgie so our mother had to get her one. Thankfully the cat doesn't usually bother him though) I've tried the thing with holding a hand in the cage while softly talking/singing to him (I've done it for months now(30 minutes each day), no progress.) I've tried letting him out of the cage (the cat was sleeping in the kitchen and the door was closed) but the poor thing seems to not be able to fly very well, maybe due to sitting in the cage for so long.. He flapped his wings, but slowly crashed down..He looked terrafied.. It took me an hour to get him back in his cage.. I've read him books.. I've sat next to his cage just having a conversation.. (My record's an hour and a half) but it was just like taking to a wall.. He was just holding hes eyes closed hoping i'd leave, only to open them and find that I'm still there... He honestly seems to be more interested to be talking with the mirror than me.. (I've removed it, now he's just talking to himself..) I've sometimes even started sobbing by accident, trying to beg for his trust.. I've tried "petting" him (I was rushing it, I know) but he just started biting me while trying to back away.. I've bought him toys (only a few, but were pretty broke so I can't get him much), but he doesn't seem to be interested. I've tried to find some snacks he'd like, but so far I havn't found much.. I'm not sure if theres something wrong with him, the shaking surely isn't normal (although he's probably just scared of me), but my mother won't take him to the vet to check. My mother's nerves (and mine) are dead, so she screams and yells alot.. Next to him. My sister has her volume to max when watching youtube, the bird has to listen to all of that..What am I sepose to do?.. I don't want him to waist his whole life just sitting in that cage having to deal with all the noise, I want him as a friend.. Or is it too late..? I know adopting him was a mistake, especially with already having a cat, but it's too late to give him back. If he's forced to live in this place I have to call home, than he might aswell view me as a friend instead of an enemy..Help. (Thanks for reading this mess, I'm not a native speaker of English, so I'm sorry if theres any grammar mistakes.)...I might have posted this on the wrong forum, sorry for that..


Last edited by FaeryBee; 05-11-2017 at 03:35 PM.
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  #2  
Old 05-11-2017, 12:25 PM
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Hi Ari

Sorry for your situation, it must be frustrating to see your 'work' being totally undone by other members of your house. If the environment doesn't feel safe, either by the cat's presence, the shouting, the loud YouTube videos, whatever, then it seems you're fighting an uphill battle.

There are a couple of things you wrote ("He was just holding hes eyes closed hoping I'd leave" & "sometimes even started sobbing by accident, trying to beg for his trust"), that make me think that you're not reading and understanding your bird very well. Closing his eyes could mean that he's relaxing in your presence and be a very positive thing. Pretend sobbing isn't going to create any sympathy from a nervous bird.

If you have truly consistently tried to follow the initial training & bonding steps as advised on this forum and have had no success after trying for 'months', then something needs to change. Budgies can have very different personalities, you could have a particularly timid bird but the 'shaking with fear' is not something normal after this long.

If you have your own bedroom (or share but can get your sister to agree to keep some bedroom rules - such as, no cat, no loud noises, no main light after dark etc), then you could try to move your budgie to your bedroom to help create a more calm environment for him). There are lots of toys that you can make yourself with cardboard tubes, tissue paper, plastic milk carton tops etc that needn't cost you anything - check out the DIY stickies.

If you can't create a safe, calm environment, then rehoming your budgie may be the only option.
Wishing you the best of luck.
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Old 05-11-2017, 02:08 PM
justmoira (Moira)
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Okay. It's going to be okay.
There's a lot to cover to bear with me.

Where in the house does the bird live?
If you have your own room that the bird can stay in, that would be best. It's easier to control one room than an entire house. You can ban the cat, you can set rules.

How many people live in your house?
The few people the easier it will be to get everyone on board with the game plan.

Have you read all the stickies and some books on budgies care?
Your mom might be more willing to listen to you if you present a very educated front about budgie care. Sometimes I find mentioning an in print book for information will sway a parent more than just 'a site on the internet' (even though honestly this website is seriously one of the best sources of budgie information there is).

What is the bird's routine?
Does your budgie get covered at night? What time does he get covered and when is he uncovered? What time do you feed him? Do you read to him at set times? Having a set routine is extremely comforting for a bird; they like to know what to expect and when.

What do you feed your budgie and how?
General store seed mix thrust into the cage isn't a good way to go about things, especially if your budgie doesn't come out of their cage.

Do you have a picture of your budgie to share with us and what's his name?

Some things I might recommend right away is getting a large towel or sheet and covering the top and sides of the cage to help make your budgie feel more secure about his life.
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Old 05-11-2017, 03:33 PM
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Hi! to Talk Budgies

Both JRS and justmoira have offered good suggestions and asked questions that will help us get a better understanding of your situation.

Once you answer the questions, we can proceed with offering additional advice.

Please take the time to read through the Site Guidelines, all of the How To Guides, the FAQs, the Budgie Articles and the stickies located at the top of each section of the forum.

Truly, the very BEST advice anyone can offer you is to take the time to read ALL of the stickies throughout the various Talk Budgie forums as well as the Budgie Articles we have posted.

These are great resources for Talk Budgie members and have a wealth of reliable information which will assist you to learn the best practices in caring for your budgies for their optimal health and well-being.

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Old 05-12-2017, 09:04 AM
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Thank you for all the responses. (kind of regretting for posting something so stupid for everyone to read)
Here are my awnsers to the questions:
"Where in the house does the bird live?" He's currently in the living room, but I wouldn't mind reloacating him.
"How many people live in your house?" 3 people live in the apartment. (my mother, sister and me)
"Have you read all the stickies and some books on budgies care?" I've read a couple of books, but that was a long, long time ago, so I don't remember much. But about the stickies..not untill now. I was too eager to write a post that I didn't even bother to noatice it.
"What is the bird's routine?" ..I don't think he has one. I can't be sure, he doesn't do anything when I'm in the room and I can't know what he's doing while I'm gone.. I'd say most of the time he just sits and makes noise..
"Does your budgie get covered at night? What time does he get covered and when is he uncovered?" We don't,I'm not allowed to use any of the blankets that would be big enough.. Though if it's really that nececary, I'll go buy one myself.
"What time do you feed him?" Usually when I wake up.. (6am-11am, depends on the day) But sometimes i'd forget and do it later, so the time isn't certin.
"Do you read to him at set times?" No, i usually go it after I'm done with school and homework, which once again, varies.
"What do you feed your budgie and how?" Again, this isn't in my control. Mom buys the food and I have no say in it. She buys food from diffrient pet shops, I don't know if that's considered a "general store" though.. The food is simply putten in the cage by hand.(Do I need like a special spoon type tool for that or something?.. :/ )
I know I'm a terriable budgie owner. I havn't really done much research before just recently, left everything for my mother to handle and even the hand thing I only looked at once and thought I understood it all.. I didn't. I even forcefully held his tail once, so he wouldn't fly away from my hand when first time taking him out (is that considered animal abuse? ) But I want to change this.. I'll try getting a proper routine for feeding, reading and other things.. If the food isn't good enough, I could try to buy food by myself that'd be higher quality..or even try recepies found online(?)(The food he's eating right now is "Vitakraft premium menu") start covering the cage with a blanket (at least) at night.. And get more toys, better quality perches and I'll probably just replace all the furniture there is at the moment, some things are breaking apart because of it's poor quality.. (Though that'll take some time.. I don't get pocket money, so if mom doesn't agree to this, i'd have to get a summer job.) Though i've "researched" for 7 hours straight, I still know little to nothing.. (I'm a slow reader, alright?) I know that giving him away would be the best thing to do at this point, I've tortured the poor thing enough with not taking care of him well enough, but my mother and sister don't allow it, as they believe that he'll automatically become a friend someday. Anyway, I'm sorry for my badly written respones..but than again your talking to a dumb child, so what can one expect.. :/
Oh, and his name is Jack. (Does he look sick in any way? I don't think his feet look normal, but I can't be sure)

Last edited by Ari; 05-12-2017 at 09:18 AM.
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Old 05-12-2017, 10:45 AM
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Ok Ari, let's make a start!

Keep alert for the chance of a summer job - we can try to minimise any expenditures but you really need to save up for potential vet bills in the future.

There is a lot of information on this site, but don't be overwhelmed; just keep slowly reading through the stickies and we'll take it one step at a time.
I'd start back at the very beginning as though Jack was a new bird, with these 2 stickies:
Yes, Your Bird IS Scared!
Suggestions To Help You Bond With A New Budgie

List of Stickies


Your job for this weekend:
Assess your bedroom layout and plan how to make a good spot for Jack's cage - you might need to have a furniture reshuffle, so it's a good time for a spring clean!
So..... what is a good spot?
Not right beside the door as it's preferable that Jack can see people approaching.
Not a drafty area.
Not in a place where the WHOLE cage would be in full sunlight or he could overheat, (though he might like to be able to look through a window).
The cage back should ideally be against a wall so that he doesn't have to watch 360*: corners feel even more secure.
If you don't have a cage stand then resting the cage on a sturdy chest of drawers puts it at a nice height.

When you've managed to move Jack into your room, then you need to set the rules.
1. Keep the bedroom door closed to prevent the cat coming in (hopefully you don't have one of those talented cats that can open doors) - I would actually write a notice for both the the outside and inside of your bedroom door as reminders to all 3 of you (old habits die hard).
2. No sudden noises. This may mean that you have to leave your bedroom in order to take an argument away from Jack.
3. Establish a night time routine. You don't need a special blanket to cover the cage, just some (preferably dark) cloth. Have a hunt through your wardrobe to see if there's anything you no longer wear that would fit.

Good luck.
Hopefully you will create a safe space for Jack and reading the 'new bird' stickies will help you begin a fresh start to your relationship with him.
We can then start thinking about improving diet and cage contents.

Btw, he is a pretty cute little guy isn't he?!
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Old 05-12-2017, 05:20 PM
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Jack is a cute little fellow.

JRS has given you an excellent set of instructions for your start of a new life for Jack for this weekend.

Perhaps you could ask your Mom if you could earn some money by doing specific chores around the house so you can get some better perches for his cage. The information in this link will give you an idea of the type perches that would be best for him.
Natural wood perches of varying diameters (not wooden dowel type perches or plastic perches) are important to help prevent Jack from getting pressure sores on his feet.

Essentials to a Great Cage

I'll be looking forward to hearing updates as things progress.

Remember, this is going to take some time and effort to change the way things have been done in the past and you'll need to be calm and gentle with Jack at all times to help him learn to trust you.
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Old 05-12-2017, 05:33 PM
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Your Jack is such a cutie! It's a good strong name for a handsome boy.
You're not stupid, you're just uninformed. Right now you are trying your best to get informed and do your best for Jack, so you're already way ahead of many pet owners out there.

Don't try to do every single thing at once. While changing up everything in the end is for the best, you don't wanna scare the little guy too much! Start with getting him in your room so you can establish a bedtime and wake up time.

Once you have Jack in your room something that might help is a radio on quietly on something calming, like classical music, all the time.

One thing to keep in mind is that while one member might do something one way, another might do it another way, and that's okay! You need to set the rules that's good for you and Jack. You're a team now so you can work on this together

Ask as many questions as you like, especially if you don't understand something in the stickies.
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Old 05-12-2017, 05:44 PM
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All hope is not lost. You've definitely come to the right place. Your willingness to learn shows that you are already a good "friend" for Jack.

As far as the cat, all birfs are different and all cats are different. When we got the birds, the cat was interested in them because they were new. Now she pays them no attention at all. The birds were never bothered by her presence. However, the cat gets locked up when they are having out of cage time.

I know my experience isn't everybody's, but that you're not a bad owner to have multiple species pets. Many have made it work.

Keep your chin (beak?) Up! We're all rooting for you and Jack!
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Old 05-12-2017, 05:58 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ColdWinterDream View Post
All hope is not lost. You've definitely come to the right place. Your willingness to learn shows that you are already a good "friend" for Jack.

As far as the cat, all birfs are different and all cats are different. When we got the birds, the cat was interested in them because they were new. Now she pays them no attention at all. The birds were never bothered by her presence. However, the cat gets locked up when they are having out of cage time.

I know my experience isn't everybody's, but that you're not a bad owner to have multiple species pets. Many have made it work.

Keep your chin (beak?) Up! We're all rooting for you and Jack!
Talk Budgies promotes "Best Practices" with regard to budgie care for the health and well-being of the birds.

It is best to keep cats completely out of the room where the budgie(s) are housed at all times.

Please refer to the information in this thread:

Cats (and Dogs) are Predators // Birds are Prey

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