He's Dead..

[Nikoletta]

He died in my hands.. I can't even type. He was so scared while his soul left his body.. There's is no God.. I believed but now i don't believe.. Everything's a big lie and the pain is all around.. Wish I could see you all and take a hug of each one.. I am so cold and alone.. He died and I was crying and caring his little hear.. it was the only thing I knew.. Why?...

[softie]

Oh my, Nikoletta :(

I am so sorry that he had passed. It's horrible to see such a close friend go away right in front of you. I can't imagine how you feel :(

Do you have any idea why he had to go?

Once again, I am so sorry. I'm really lost for words. I'm not sure what to say but that I know that he's in a better place now. And even though he may not be around anymore, his soul is still with you.

*hugs*

Aaralyn

[Donna]

Nikoletta,

I am so sorry that Sakis died. I know you were taking him to the Vet. Were you ever able to leave your home to go there? If so, did they do any tests to determine why he died?

I can't even imagine how devastated you are. You have been trying to hang on for a very long time. And so was Sakis, but he just couldn't fight anymore. I know the empty feeling your are experiencing right now. It is one of shock and emptyness. I just lost my doggie a week ago and he was less than 2 years old. I keep looking for him in my house and he is no longer here. It is hard to understand but we must not lose hope with life. It IS worth living. Right now you are very tired from worrying for so long. What you need most now, is rest. When you are this tired, your mind does not think clearly and your emotions are out of control. Sleep will help you a great deal but it will take a long time to get back the rest that you lost. You are so tired right now that you don't even know how tired you are. Please try and take care of yourself now, and things will improve over time. You will have the strength to go on because we are all praying for you and you are not walking this life alone.

And please don't blame God for Sakis death. We all have a time that we will leave this earth and this was the time for Sakis, as much as we didn't want to see this happen. We can not stop death. It will happen to you and it will happen to me. We all have an appointed time to die and we have to remember that.

Just know that I care about you, dear friend. And even though it does not look like you will be able to go on, you will. Just give yourself time. Even though Sakis is no longer with you, you will always have the wonderful memories. He will always be special to you and your memories of him will be comforting. Maybe not right now, but one of these days they will. Hang on to those memories.

I am leaving on a trip for a few days and I will be leaving in an hour or so. I am just glad that I was able to read your post, so that I knew about Sakis. I would rather know now, than to read about his death later.

Hang in there Nikoletta. My heart is with you.

Love,
Donna

[Alai]

:crying: im so sorry Nikoletta *hug*

and even though he died, he lived a wonderful life. And just think of all the wonderful memories. He might not be with you physically but at least hes in your heart.

sorry if this doesnt comfort you.

feel better :)

[Nikoletta]

Dear Softie, don't know.. He died when we came back from the other vet. He told us that perhaps his lngs were affected.. We really don't know.. But I am sure he feeled pain and torture and he was so scared.. his body turned like an embryo and he died in my hand. I left there for half an hour, believind that he could wake, that it was all a bad dream. But it was cruel reality.. I feel like I am lost, this can't happen..

[Nikoletta]

My dear friend Donna, I have no words to thank you.. And you too, my friend Alai.. But I can't feel calmness, the image of his soul left his body haunts me.. Death is so cold, so dark thing.. I still believe I hadn't done all that I could.. There's always something more than usual. And I can't stand the pain.. And I don't want to live without him.. His place is empty.. We buried him in the garden, I put him in a santa's hat I bought before a month, believing I could make him feel better.. I really need a hug but please, let your thought fly to my little Sakis. He needs you more than I do, even if he's not living with us anymore..

[sammy2850]

oh im so sorry i really wished that he would survive.

[budgiesmum1953]

Oh my dear Nikoletta, Oh sweet precious little Sakis :( God Bless him. I really didn't expect this, I'm so so sorry and my heart is breaking for you. Right now this feels like the most terrible of times but I promise you it will get better, with time. Poor little Sakis couldn't fight any longer, he had fought so long because of your care and love for him, but there comes a time when even this will not keep them here on Earth with us. He stayed with you until Christmas so that you would have him through this special time, but now he has had to leave and go to a better place where there is no more illness. He couldn't overcome this as he must have been too poorly, but I don't believe that he suffered as he wouldn't have lived this long through his illness if he was suffering. He would just 'go to sleep' in your hands, as you say 'like an embryo' as this is the way that they leave us. Please don't feel that he was scared or felt 'pain and torture' as he would have felt safe and secure because you were there with him, he would know this, believe me. You did more than anyone could possibly do to make him better, but sadly it wasn't meant to be, but you gave him so much devoted love he couldn't have wished for a more loving owner. And also you were with him at the end, as painful as that feels now you will eventually take comfort from it. Please read and take to heart Donna's post as you have to try to be strong for yourself now and heal all the hurt that you are feeling. Take heart in the fact that you excelled in your care of Sakis, your love for him came across to me as something so very strong and very, very special. Sakis would want you to be brave for him now and when this terrible sadness starts to ease a little he would want you to look after yourself and try to come to terms with his loss. Please don't feel cold and alone as we are all here for you, my arms are still around you and I'm crying with you at this very moment, but I pray to hear soon that you are starting to feel gradually better and better with each day that passes.

All my love to you and take heart that Saki's brave little spirit will always be with you in the memories that you have of him, Jan. XXX.

[Nikoletta]

Sammy, I wished the same two but it didn't happen.. :(
Budgiesmum, Sakis would pe so happy to know how many people loved him, no matter they never met him.. I wish I could take his fear away when he faced death.. When he died, his eyes were like when he was feeling that someone would take his seeds stick.. I don't know how am I suppose to forget this terrible image.. Thank you so much for being with me those difficult moments, thank you so much..

[A-n-M]

Nikoletta, I'm so sorry to hear that Sakis died,
atleast he had someone who turly loved him
and tried to give him the best in the time he had.

[Nikoletta]

Thank you.. it's like a living nightmare, it is a living nightmare.. I am really cold, I think my mind would not stamnd such a pain and thoughts.. Life is so cruel..

[redgirl]

Nickoletta

I am so sorry to read this post, I have dreaded this happening for so long and I prayed and thought a miracle would happen, because he was such a fighter and I knew he didn't want to leave you sweetie, why would he you are a really special person hunni and Sakis loved you with all his heart. Life can be so cruel sweetheart and I am feeling your pain like many others on this forum are too, You have gone through so much stress sweetie worrying about your poor little angel and it isn't any good for you to be so distraught, I know I would be if I was in the position as you, I am really sorry my love my heart is with you and Sakis at this very sad time, you ever need to talk to me sweetie I am here for you pm me anytime, all my love Angie xxxxx

[ZeinaA.G]

I'm so sorry to read this terrible news! :( Rip Sakis:(

[pipp4]

oh my!!!!!!!! i am so sorry i wish u the best! *hugs*

[Ruta<3]

Im so sorry to hear about that. I knew how much Sakis meant to you and I knew he knew safe with somebody who loved him so much. Im proud you gave the best way to die (In the person he loves hand)

[BUUZBEE]

Thats such sad news. Im so sorry! huggs

[clifff123]

Nikoletta, so sorry to hear about Sakis. You did everything you could to help Sakis have a good life. They are gone but never forgotten, oh how these little creature affect out lives. RIP Sakis

[Budgiekin]

My heart just sank when I read the title of your post Nikoletta. I can't imagine how you must be feeling right now, especially given that your precious little Sakis was not doing well for some time and he died in your hands. Please take comfort in the fact that you were there for him when he died.

There is nothing pleasant about death, and it seems to unfair to have such an innocent creature suffer. My thoughts are with you during this difficult time sweety. I'm thinking of you.

May Sakis fly high forever...

[Amy]

I cannot type. Oh you poor thing! This must be so hard. :(

[pal0m1n0]

Nikoletta, I'll try to write later, when I stop crying myself. You definitely are not grieving alone.

[parakeetluverr]

Nikoletta,

My heart pounds with hurt as I read this. I feel you're pain inside. Death IS so cold, and you felt so close to him. I am about to cry right now, because we all know you truly loved him so much and wished he hadn't gone. But there is hope..and just remember that we're all so sorry and always here for you when you need us. He seemed to be such a good bird, and I hope the best for you.
Hugs all the way from Connecticut,
Kelsey.:(

[Nikoletta]

My friends Kelsey, Angie, Zeina, Cliff, Pipp, Buuzbee, Pal0m1no, Budgiekin, Dmy and Amy, thank you.. Hope my baby's soul can feel your love.. I hope his soul is in peace now, I don't like the idea that his soul is wandering, because it's so cold outside.. His armchair is empty, only his framed picture lies there and a little wooden santa I bought him some days ago.. My soul's so heavy, I can't stop crying.. I cry but I have no more tears.. I weep, I can't accept his loss..
"..no moon is there, no voice, no sound of beating heart;a sigh profound once in each age as each age dies alone is heard. Far, far it lies, the land of waiting where the dead sit, in their thought's shadow, by no moon lit.."

[budgiesmum1953]

Dearest Nikoletta,
Sakis is at peace now his soul will not feel cold and it will not be wandering, you loved him too much for that to happen. He will glow in the light of your love and continue on his journey in peace because of the power of your love, nothing can ever change this. Love is the most powerful thing there is, it can heal all the hurt, whatever happens if we are loved and love in return then that is all that matters in this world. Sakis was loved and is still loved by you and with all your heart, so he is not alone, he is not cold, he is at peace and will rest in a place where he can soar to the greatest heights because of the power of that love. You are a very special person to love Sakis in this way, be kind to yourself now and feel his love in return for you and take comfort in it as he would want you to do. It is your turn now to feel his love for you, as such a strong little spirit will always be with you, and to begin your journey of recovery. I know from experience that it hurts like crazy at the moment but it does get a little easier each day and you know that if you need to talk you only have to come here and take heart from your friends on this forum. Sakis will never be forgotten, I know that I will never forget him along with everyone her who has marvelled at his amazingly strong and brave character. We have also been privellaged to share in your very special love for him.
My heart is with you and will ache for you until you start to feel better,
Jan. XXX.

[zarrion101]

It's terrible. :( My heart does go out to you Nikoletta and your poor budgie.

[Nancy]

Dear Nickoletta
I have been following your story for weeks and was so sad to read of Sakis's death. I believe things happen for a reason, even though we don't understand at the time. You and your little bird have touched the hearts of people all over the world. There you are in Greece and here I am in the USA and I am thinking about you. Through this forum, you and Sakis have been teachers. You, Nickoletta, have shown the hundreds that have read your thread how to care for a bird. Your many trips to the vet and your constant watchful eye has set an example for us all. Sakis showed us how to be brave and fight but death is a part of life and life can be hard. My thoughts are with you.

[Bea]

I'm so sorry to hear this sad news Nikoletta. But remember, you gave Sakis something more important than anything and that's the gift of love. He knew he had you right to the end and i'm sure he felt comfort being held by his best friend during his last minutes. You did so much for the little guy, don't feel you let him down in any way. *hugs*

[sammy2850]

oh i havnt left im just upset but ill still be here for you.

[Star]

That first post made me cry, I'm so sorry Nikoletta. I can't even imagine what your feeling. I'm so sorry. RIP Sakis. You were very well loved baby boy.

[Susie T]

Your pain has touched my heart sweetie, and I cried when I read this post, as I had just lost my Coco in August and felt the exact same way you do now. Sakis was a darling and a fighter, and although it will take time for you to get over this terrible time of grief...you will overcome my dear and life will go on. My baby is buried in the backyard too, and not a day goes by when I don't think about her. There will come a time when you can walk past the little grave of Sakis, or just look that way, and you will smile and remember all the good, loving times you had with him. You are both in my thoughts. RIP Sakis for you are gone, but never forgotten. xx

[Nikoletta]

Dear Jan. Zarrion, Nancy. Bea, Sammy, Suzie and Star, thank you for being there for us.. I had a painful night and in the morning I was sure he would be in his armchair to scream because he wanted to open th curtains.. But only his picture was there and I open his light and I went there to eta my cereals, as I did 2 years now.. I am at work but I can't concentrate. I miss him so much and I don't know how can I forget such a clever creature and fighter one.. I am really afraid of his soul, because when I realized he was dying I started to scream and I wasn't calm.. And I think that aybe that's why he was that scared.. I am really unforgiven..
"..no moon is there, no voice, no sound of beating heart;a sigh profound once in each age as each age dies alone is heard. Far, far it lies, the land of waiting where the dead sit, in their thought's shadow, by no moon lit.."

[sammy2850]

no matter what its not your fault does your boss know whats happened also dre you living by yourself or with your family.Im really sorry to ask this but would you ever get another bird aftewr a while pls forgive me for asking.

[Nikoletta]

Dear Sammy you can ask whatever you want. They do but they don't care. They are of kind of people that when someone loves/helps animals they said "children dying, and you are helping animals?'. And the same people doesn't help not animals nor children.. So, as you can understand, there's no hope to leave.
I am living with my parents, my brother will bring me another budgie, is the one that brought Sakis. He was devaastated too.. He lives with his wife but all this period was sad, as we were. But not of the same colour. Sakis will never be replaced by any budgie in my heart.. And I wouldn't in any case, because I don't want to tirture his little soul.. His image while he was dying haunts me..

[sammy2850]

ok kool pls talk too me if you need anything

[Nikoletta]

Thank you so much dear, thank you..

[budgiesmum1953]

Dear Nikoletta,
Please don't blame yourself for screaming when Sakis was leaving you, it was a perfectly understandable thing to do. We sometimes seem to concentrate on the saddest moments, I know that I do, I still say to myself now regarding Harry 'why did I do this or that' and 'why didn't I do such and such, it might have made a difference, he might still be with us.' In some strange way we blame ourselves, I don't know why, as nothing would have changed the outcome. So if you can try your very best to remember all the wonderful things that you did for Sakis, you always took him to the vet when he needed to go and tried everything the vet asked of you. You did everything in your power to try and find a way of making him better. You loved Sakis with a passion that kept him alive for as long as possible. And Sakis would know all of this, that's why he adored you. I recognise the wonderful gift that you have of seeing the intelligence in the eyes and expressions of a budgies face, and again other members here will relate to this. Some people we meet in life who look at a little sweetie will just see a bird, we see an amazing little being full of personality, intelligence, inquisitiveness and yes love too. We are the lucky ones to feel this way, I feel sad for the kind of people who just dismiss these creatures as 'animals' or 'birds' they are blind to our wonderful appreciation, always try to remember this if someone at work is a little unkind. They are the unlucky ones.
If you can try your best now to remember the tremendous care and love that you gave Sakis, and then push the memories that upset you a little further to the back of your mind, if you can.
I know that another budgie couldn't replace Sakis ever, he will always live in a special place in your heart. But if your brother does bring you a little sweetie this might just help to heal your hurting in some small way? You will know if and when you are ready for another special little one, and it seems a shame that you might resist having another as the budgie that might just come into your care is going to be one of the luckiest little guys in the world.
I pray that you are feeling a bit better, I know myself that it can be a long road before our heart stops aching even just a little, but again you know that if you come and talk here whatever the time there is always someone around to share your pain.
My arms are still trying to comfort you and my heart is there with you too.
Love, Jan. XXX.

[Amy]

Oh Nikoletta! I can't think of anything else to say. When I found out Skye had gone, I too, screamed. But she had already gone.

I know how you are feeling, you can really feel that big empty gap in your heart.

Amy.

[Nikoletta]

Dear Jan, your words are absolutely right. But, at the moment, I can't stop crying and feeling guilty because maybe I am the one who made him feel scared the last seconds of his precious life.. I remember our good moments but I also cry.. It's too recent and I know that time heals pain but this kind of pain never leaves. It exists and after years become a nightmare, a bad dream.. I am not ready for another budgie, at least not know.. I'm afraid that Sakis would be upset and I don't want that. Maybe around easter. My brother will take the budgie from a guy who bredd budgies for his own because he loves them. We would never buy something that has soul from a pet shop. So I will wait for a new birth and my brother will take the most foxy face, as he didi in Sakis case. I see his picture and the little wooden Santa and I feel like a maniac tears my heart, my stomach, everything inside me.. I opened up the light it was near him, I talked to his picture, I talked upon his place in the backyard, but it's not the same.. I hope he can forgive me about screaming when I realized that I began to lose him..
Dear Amy, I know you can understand me.. But, believe me, maybe it was better to not see her dying.. Because she died quietly. SHe was beside yor mum and she was in the car, "enjoying" a last walk.. If I knew that my precious would die, I would never go out with him for the doctor.. It would be better die in his place in calmness.. But he started to die 2 mins after we came back home..
I can't forget his little head, I kissed him many times and he was so cold.. And his tail was dirty from his runny poop and he wasn't the proud bird he was in his health days.. But for me till is my baby, my friend, someone I loved with all my heart and my "hansom". When I told him "hansom?My hansom?" he was staring at me and screaming. The last two months he was just staring and beating his bell, just to make me understand that he was happy..
I put in the garbage his cage and all of his games, mirrors etc.. I couldn't stand it empty and dirty.. Like a proud man who, in the past days of his life, can't clean up hiself nor the place he lives..
I miss you Sakis, I really do and I wish you could give me a sign that you knew how much I love you..

[Star]

I know what it is like to lose a animal, and I can't really go into detail because it's so hard for me. It was over a year ago and I'm still not completely myself agian. I'm so sorry Nikoletta. ((HUGS)) Still here thinking of you.

[Nikoletta]

Thank you so much star, thank you.. I am devastated, really..The idea of his little body into the ground is extremely painful.. But I still speak to him, hop he can feel me..

[budgiesmum1953]

Dear Nikoletta,
I can understand your devastation and pain and also the reason why you do not want to even think of another budgie just yet, no one could take Sakis place in your heart. I still haven't wanted to 'replace' Harry and feel like you that it would somehow betray him. Maybe one day... I can feel the devastation that you describe at losing Sakis, but also it's good to still talk to him and does help if only a little bit to speak to him as I'm sure his spirit is with you. He will surely forgive you for screaming when he was leaving you as he will know that you only did this because you were so upset. He will only remember that you were the person who loved him the most in the world and who did her absolute best for him. You are right it is very early days yet and you will hurt and cry for Sakis, I believe that this is all part of grieving for him because you loved him so much. We have to grieve when we lose a loved one, it has to come out in tears and pain like this or else we keep it all inside and this isn't good for us, in a way I think that it very slowly heals the hurt we are feeling.
I haven't been able to replace Harry yet, but I have a little wild bird that comes down into the garden when I take bread and nuts outside for them. They come down to feed where Harry is buried. This little bird is a Robin by the way and he is very beautiful. Well I go to Harry's corner and will make 'kissing' sounds (to the wild birds) while I put the bread out and this little Robin comes right down to where I'm standing and takes his bread. I get some comfort from him and wonder in my own funny way that maybe Harry's spirit is showing me comfort through this little Robin. It's little things like this that helps us through the pain.
Maybe when Easter comes and you just might be ready you will find another foxy faced little fellow to share your heart with. I loved the way you described Sakis as foxy faced and know just what you mean by this.
If beautiful proud Sakis didn't look quite himself when he left you please know that he was still your handsome proud little sweetie inside, nothing could ever change that. And know that you aren't alone as I'm still aching and crying for you and Sakis.
Love, Jan. XXX.

[Neely]

Nikoletta,
I can only imagine the way you feel. I know that if my little girl died, I don't know what I'd do. She means so much to me as I'm sure yours meant to you. Please don't take any blame for his passing. You loved him with all of yourself, and he knew. Just think of the good memories and they'll make you happier.
There's nothing any of us can say to put your mind at ease, but just know that we're all here for you.

My thoughts are with you,
Neely

[birdluv]

l have been reading and following your other post about Sakis l , l left for a holiday and when l came back today , l saw this post and my heart just sank to see this :( , l would like to tell you that , l'm so sorry for your loss , l know how hard it is , l wish l could give you a hug , again , l'm so sorry :(

[PrettyHate]

I am so very sorry to read about your friend.

Be comforted in the fact that you were able to be with him till the end. It is a wonderful thing to be with a pet during their last moments. Nothing should die alone. They know they are loved, and that they will never be forgotten.

RIP little one.

[Nikoletta]

Dear Jan, thanks again for writing me so emotional posts.. You understand exactly how I feel.. He was my hansom, he always was and 'till the end. THa night before he died he looked at me while I was eating my milk+cereals but I was afraid to give him although I knew he liked it, because I knew milk's not good fro thei digestive system. And I've regret it, he was so weak.. I saw him falling with his face in the bottom of the cage and then his nose and everything was full of dust.. Like a bleeding warrior.. I can't get through this and I don't know how I will find the strength to live again..
Neely, Birdluv and Laura, for once more I wish my little baby's soul can feel your love and thoughts. It is cold outside and the image of his body in the dark ground it cuts me in pieces.. I touched his picture and I told him how hansom he is and I told him that I love him more than my canaries and that he mustn't feel jealous.. My baby.. I can't take it, really I can't..

[PrettyHate]

He CAN feel your love and thoughs. He knows you loved him so very much. And Im sure now that he is no longer in pain, he wishes for your comfort, just as you wished for his.

[Rosie]

Oh my gosh. This has made me so sad :( Sakis stayed a little fighter right up to the very end, and I'm sure he had the best possible life.

Sakis has touched everyone's hearts of talkbudgies. He was a special budgie, and will always be remembered here by the budgie that never gave up...Fly high Sakis...

[bs007]

I am so sorry. You obviously loved Sakis very much & I'm sure he felt that & was comforted by your love.

[budgiesmum1953]

Dear Nikoletta,
I'm still feeling how much you are hurting because of Sakis. I think some of us take longer to get over a loss like this. I wish that there was an easy solution to heal the dreadful hurt, but I think it's something we have to work through, like going through a dark tunnel but finally seeing light at the end and coming through safely. I do understand when you say that you don't know how you will get through this, but you will find the strength to get through. Sakis wouldn't want to see you so upset especially as you loved and cared for him with such a passion. It's so hard when we have just lost them to stop thinking of the saddest moments, holding them and losing them, but we really have to try hard to gently put the thoughts of these sad moments to one side of our mind and if at all possible think of the times when Sakis was well. If we think too much about the sad times I think it can make us ill ourselves. You have to try and be good to yourself now as you were the most wonderful guardian Sakis could ever have wished for. Try to focus on the care and love that you showered on him and when your mind tries to picture sadder moments, very gently say to yourself I can't think of this as it hurts too much. I know how easily the upsetting thoughts will pop into your mind, and it is still early days yet, but if you can think of your family and how they wouldn't want to see you so upset it could help. I promise that it does get a little easier with time, I know that it's hard to believe at the moment as you are still grieving for Sakis, but things will get better. And you know that everyone is still here for you if you do need to talk or share how you are feeling. I truly wish that I could make this all better for you, but I send my love and a very, very big hug.
Jan. XXX.

[Nikoletta]

Laura, Rosie and Bs007, thank you for telling me he CAn hear me and feel my love.. Tonight I've passed out of the second vet's clinic and I thought, for once again, that maybe I should left him die in peace and not torturing him by taking there by car.. He died in the moment we enterd our home.. Maybe thos "walk" was the "final shot" for him.. I don't know.. From that morning mum said that he wouldn't make it, he was extremely weak.. WIsh I could bring him back.. I bought today from a store with human accesories (but dedicated to pets a miniature budgies, exactly as Sakis was, the same coulours and style. And everywhere I go I take him with me, it's like I have Sakis with me.. I love him so much, wish I could listen to him once again, to touch his little head once again..

[Nikoletta]

My dear friend Jan, thank for one more time.. Your words are very kind and wise, but -at this moment- I can't follow your advice. I still thinking of sad moments, of moments when my little soul was tortured by his ilness.. SANd the love I have for him and the care I shopw for him don't make me feel better.. I have, all the time, the feeling that I didn't my best.. WHen (4 years before) they brought me home from the hospital, my brother came to see me with Sakis on hois shoulder. And he came in my shoulder and he played with my hair and earings.. this was my first meeting with Sakis.. And almost 1,5 year later my brother gave him to me.. I loved him from the first time, because such a little creature showed my such big love and gave me happiness the moment I was in pain and disapointed..
But now, as one of my favorite songs says "..depression takes over and fills my eyes with bleeding tears.."..

[budgiesmum1953]

Dear Nikoletta,

I'm so sad that you are hurting so much. It is going to take time before you can feel a little better, and I'm sure that I'm not the only one here who can understand how you are feeling at this moment. It's lovely to hear of how you first met Sakis, and I think that in your very wise way you describe why these tiny creatures affect our lives in the way that they do. As you say so much love from such a tiny little creature, just explains why we love them so much. They are intelligent, responsive, funny and some are very loving, but also very, very beautiful. It's no wonder they break our hearts when they leave us. My son called me into his room earlier, he had found a little video footage of Harry, I think that he had been too upset to show me before, but decided to tonight. It's like his photographs, I feel as if a little part of him is still here because we have pictures of him and take a little comfort in that. I do still speak to his photo, where his cage used to be, I will say goodnight to him and it is comforting to feel that they are still with us, as I'm sure that they are.

Take care and my love is with you while you are grieving for Sakis,

Jan. XXX

[Nikoletta]

Dear Jan, you described exactly what I am also doing and feeling.. I goodnight him, I talk to his photo, I turn on/off his light, I open the television to be sure he will watch again the cartoons he liked so much to watch.. I cry right now, I am sorry but I can't write, your message was so touching..

[sammy2850]

i still feel your pain i suffered that feeling twice when i lost caitlen and missy within one week of eachother i still do but its better now but that feeling will never go completely so i feel pain really quickly and not one of my friends understand my pain and feeling ive been told too change the subject many times before by all of my friends and that hurts.

[Nikoletta]

Dear Sammy, that' true: most of people cannot understand our feeling and our love for animals. I saved my dog (it is a stray one but we feed him, wash him, make his injections etc) three times from poisonous food. The second time he fell in coma and we have doubt that he wouldn't make it. But he did. And all this people, even those who -from time too time- bring him food (not good food but all t he things want to throw on garbage) didn't care about him and noone, thise hard days, tried to give him some fresh water. And I've learned (and I still learn each year that passes) that the human being are the bigest beast in earth;s history. So I try to not think of them and not listen to them when they doubt me that I don't help people and I help animals. It's the kind of persons that say that but never helped any animal or hman being. So, you don't have to care about the friends that cannot understand yo. We are here and we can understand you.
We wish you all h happy new year, may 2007 be happier and healthier than 2006.

[sammy2850]

yeah happy new year everyone

[Star]

I have been thinking about you, Nikkoletta. How are you doing? Your story reminds me of how I lost my Sunny boy, my heart just really aches for you. :( I can't imagine the pain you feel right now without him.

[Baby5566]

Poor baby, you must understand that sometimes... When you have to go, you go no matter who you leave behind. It was his time and he loved you. Don't lose hope, he's at the Rainbow Bridge flying free.

[Tiki<3Polly]

Oh my!

I am very sorry Nikoletta.

I didn't know Sakis very much as I don't come on here often, but I know how hard it is to lose someone very close to you. In this past year I lost two of my budgies, and one of my very close friends who was only 15 years old in a car accident. We are still very upset and cry all the time before we go to sleep. Just because Sakis left, it isn't the end of the world because Sakis is probably in heaven thanking you so much for the lovely home you gave her! I am proud of you for the way you raised her, and you should be proud of yourself too!

You and Sakis are in my prayers tonight!

[Nikoletta]

My friends Star & Baby5566 , thank you so much for your interesting. I still feel the pain and my mind is tortured by my Sakis last moments. But I also started to remember our good moments and I hope he's in a better place now..
Angelica, I am so sorry about losing budgies and a so young friend.. Unfortunately life has a plan for us all and death -on most of cases- seems so unfair.. Hope you can find the courage to remember them and smile for your happy moments.

[Nikoletta]

Dear all, I wanted to let you know that it's been exactly one week (it was exactly the same time) my baby's died in my hands.. I talked with his vet today, I informed him about my Sakis death and he started to cry.. He told me that since 2005 (he was sick-he almost died) he knew that somaday -soon- he would die. Because the infection was too serious and would never leave his tiny body.. And , for once again, he told me that our love was the reason he lived for one year more.. And I feel sad because I went to a second vet (whom I didn't knew before) just to be sure I made the right think. But right now I am sure (I was all these difficult months) that Sakis' vet did everything he could because, most of all, he loves animalas. So I suffer because maybe this movement (to transfer my Sakis to another vet) was awful because he died exactly when we returned home. Maybe I should left him die in peace.. And this dreadful thought will haunt me for the rest of my life..
RIP my angel, I love you..

[sammy2850]

i havnt forgot about you sakis is flying free at rainbow bridge with all the lost budgies but they will never forget the ppl that cared loved them also here is a poem i wrote
missy this is for you i send my love.
i love you missy and always will.
sadness feels my body when i sleep or when i visit your grave.
sadness is the way i feel knowing that we will never see eachother again.
y did you have too go at such a young age when i thought i was getting somewhere with you.

thankyou missy for giving me your love and i will never forget you bye sweetie i love you fly free in heaven tell woody i love him tell caitlen i miss her with all my heart.

[Nikoletta]

It's so sweet Sammy.. It's so sweet and so sincere.. And, in the same time, it's so nice to realize there are fragile people all over the world..

[spike]

oh Nikoletta, Im so sorry, I missed this post as I have hardly been online over the christmas period. ((hug)) so sorry for your loss.

[Nikoletta]

Dear Spike, thank you.. It's so important for my Sakis' soul to feel he's loved from so many people around the world..