9 months without him..

[Nikoletta]

My angel, I still cry for you.. Two years ago you were about to leave us; you were very sick and even your vet told us to leave you die in peace, to keep you warm and calm. I was sure that I coul save you. And I did it, I did it with natural rascue remedies. And noone coul believe it. And I was so happy, to see you eat from my hand, 3 or 4 seeds, after 4 days without food or water.. For 15 days you were not that well. But then you started again to cheerp and talk.
Vet said that viruses are dangerous, they hide and they transform. But I thought that was not valid for us, that I could live many years with you.
And when I heard you, last november (1st of month), to gasp for air, I started to ache. That time, I couldn't believe in a miracle.. Everyday I was accusing God, because he seemed so cruel, to watch you suffering.. I still remember that everyday you were waiting for me get back from work, to eat few seeds from my hands.. This torture lasted almost two months.. And you died.. And I still cannot understand what kind of God would left an innocent creature suffering..
I was holding you dead for half an hour and I was crying and I believed you could be alive again.. Dad took you and burried you.. And everytime I take care of little garden, I know you're down there, wraped in the Santa hat I bought for your 1 month before Christmas.. To be sure youwould have time to feel Christmas..
I miss you and I cry and I feel rage for myself, for being incapable to save you..
For screaming in your last seconds.. Forgive me..

[Donna]

Nikoletta,

There's NO DOUBT that you loved and still love Sakis very, very much. Sakis was blessed to have such a special person in his life to love and care for him. None of us will ever forget Sakis. He was like family to us.

I was just looking at your beautiful siggy and realized that my newest Budgie "Olivia" looks just like Sakis, except that she has a beige cere and Sakis had a blue one. Other than that, they look the same. I chose the name "Olivia" because of her olive chest and tummy. At the bottom of your siggy you called Sakis your "Little Green Olive." Isn't that wonderful the similarities between Sakis and Olivia? In a way, Sakis LIVES ON . . . Now I have been blessed to have a "Little Green Olive" in my home. But I promise I'll SHARE her with you. You can come over anytime you want and I'll even let you hold her. (You'll have to catch her first though, because she isn't tame!) Hehehe.

Thanks for sharing your deepest feelings with us about Sakis. He was the best Budgie ever, wasn't he?

Please don't blame yourself because you could not save Sakis. You loved him with all of your heart and that is all anyone can do. That counts for a lot.

(( HUGS, )) Donna

[Squeak_Crumble]

Nikoletta,

There's NO DOUBT that you loved and still love Sakis very, very much. Sakis was blessed to have such a special person in his life to love and care for him. None of us will ever forget Sakis. He was like family to us.

I was just looking at your beautiful siggy and realized that my newest Budgie "Olivia" looks just like Sakis, except that she has a beige cere and Sakis had a blue one. Other than that, they look the same. I chose the name "Olivia" because of her olive chest and tummy. At the bottom of your siggy you called Sakis your "Little Green Olive." Isn't that wonderful the similarities between Sakis and Olivia? In a way, Sakis LIVES ON . . . Now I have been blessed to have a "Little Green Olive" in my home. But I promise I'll SHARE her with you. You can come over anytime you want and I'll even let you hold her. (You'll have to catch her first though, because she isn't tame!) Hehehe.

Thanks for sharing your deepest feelings with us about Sakis. He was the best Budgie ever, wasn't he?

Please don't blame yourself because you could not save Sakis. You loved him with all of your heart and that is all anyone can do. That counts for a lot.

(( HUGS, )) Donna





Thats really nice donna.maybe just maybe little sakis has lived on and is now blessed to have a new life a differnt one from a loving soul to another and you both love him/her.and in your soul he will love forever

[Nikoletta]

Thank you so much Donna and Squeak_Crumble.. Your words means much to me.. It makes me feel a little bit calm knowing that there are people who still love my Sakis and think of him as family..
Thank you..

[LMKT_budgies]

Hi Nikoletta,
I don't know if my words could be of any comfort to you, but I hope they will. What you just wrote about Sakis is really really beautiful!!!! Your loved him so much!!! I know how you feel because my sweet Layla died just a week or so ago and I am still trying to grieve for her!!!! It was really hard for me and I thought I would never be able to write on this forum or get another budgie!!!! But I started to let go of the pain and guilt of Layla and I started getting better...I might even get another budgie ( NOT to replace Layla, but to remember her better) maybe God let this happen because he knows that ther is another special budgie who needs your love and care, just like you gave to Sakis!!!!! I am praying for you in this hard time, just don't ever forget him and remember that he and Layla are flying free over the blue sky with all the other budgies that have passed on before them, and they are happy and looking down at us and wishing we could be happy for them, so I have tried to be happy for Laylas sake, and it has helped!!! Huggs~~~ Nikoletta!!!!!!

[keet_tweet4]

That is so touching. There is no doubt that you loved and cared for Sakis like a child, and that his time on earth was full of love and happiness, and you made his life the best possible life he could wish for. I had a beautiful sky blue budgie named Ringo, who sadly passed away too. I remember crying and feeling so helpless, and thinking this was the ending for my love of birds. But in a way it was a beginning, as later, I couldn't stand living without a bird so I got a new one (not to replace him). Now I am up to four, one foster bird, and a budgie that I care for who is donated to an autistic classroom at a school. I educate others on birds and help birds in bad situations and help them get new beginnings themselves. No matter how many words I write, I cannot take away your pain, but I very much hope I can at least dull it a little. Sakis was a beautiful budgie and a very special one too. He was truely blessed to have you love and care for him. RIP Sakis.

((BIG HUGS))

Haley

[BuBu&Chik]

Hi Nikoletta, that brought tears to my eyes. Your Sakis was very lucky to have such a loving parent. I'm sure he lived a great life thanks to you! You did your best, and I am sure he knew that. I really hope you feel better soon...

[Nikoletta]

Thank you all, thank you from my heart.. I am proud you can see that Sakis was a special budgie.. Thank you..

[Flingo]

That Story Brought tears to my eyes. i don't usually post here because i don't want to offend people. everyone knows that you loved and still love Sakis.
He loves you. saving his life was so good. you are Sakis's hero.
i hope i didn't offend you by anything i said.

[Nikoletta]

Thank you Flingo, everyone's words here mean a lot to me..

[swishmom98]

Hi Nickoletta,

Everyday I come to this website and there are so many memory posts. It made me very sad, but then I thought about it is just the circle of life God has given us. It still makes me very sad when I read such posts as yours. I miss my little ones so much. Everyone of my budgies that passed were very special to me. Precious just died in my hands last week. I am still heartbroken. I can feel your pain and hurt and hopelessness you feel for not being about to save your little Sakis, but know that I remember everyone of our little budgies that passed away. I pray for them daily to "RIP" and be happy in that big blue sky flying free and being happy without any pain or suffering. If I let myself I can be so mournful and not let myself grieve and move on with my other budgies. But they all need my attention just like the ones who have passed on. I know you will be able to love another budgie someday soon. No budgie will ever take Sakis place, but it will help fill the emptiness you feel in your heart everyday. . One thing that keeps me sane is to come to this website for all the friends here that truly understand how we feel is such a comfort to me also. "RIP Sakis"

[Star]

Nikoletta, I know the exact pain you are going through. Has it really been this long? I always say this but, Nikoletta, I am so sorry for your loss. The pain is obviously still fresh, but I promise it will heal over time. (((hugs))) Please don't blame yourself for what happened, EVERYTHING happens for a reason.

[Nikoletta]

Thank you swishmom98, thank you Star.. That's whiy I love too this site, because we are like a family and everyone cares for each other..

[Budgietom]

Poor Nikoletta. It must have been hard for you to lose Sakis. You must remeber that it wasn't your fault that he died and that he is now happy and peaceful. He may not be with you in body, but he will always be with you in spirit. RIP Sakis

[Nikoletta]

Thank you Budgietom, you are very kind..

[oldgirl]

It is very hard not to think about those last few hours with your budgie, but I am certain that Sakis would wish you to remember the fun times, rather than the sad goodbye. I havent posted on this forum since March, when my little lass died at 14, and I don't actually have a bird now.....the time is not right, so much home upheaval and changes of responsibilities, it wouldnt be fair right now. I have a photo of her in the bedroom, and when our house is repaired I shall have her pictures back on the sideboard. I believe quite fully that the bonding we had in life is a never-ending one, and yours with Sakis will endure also. Although budgies are naturally happy in big groups, the relationship they have with humans (those that become our pets) is a very special one and, I believe, very much blessed by the Big Boss.

[Nikoletta]

Thank you oldgirl for your kind words..

[Budgietom]

How are things going with Sakis gone? Perhaps you should build some sort of statue or momentum to him.

[clifff123]

Nikoletta, I have been holding off from posting on this thread, I guess because I didn't know what to say or how to say it. It saddens me to see you still
hurting so bad for Sakis. Sakis was a gorgeous budgie and you will always miss him. Every time we talk about our budgies bobo and our dog dusty my wife tears up and gets upset. So we understand where your coming from. Just try to think about all the joy and entertainment and comfort Sakis brought into your life. You will always miss him but its time to get another budgie and share all the love and bonding you gave Sakis. He would want that, move forward and get another budgie it will help with the grieving process. Best wishes from our house to yours, cliff and Sue

[Nikoletta]

Dear Budgietom, I think Cliff's idea is the best: get another budgie and share with him my love.
Dear Cliff and Sue, I am so happy you can understand me, it's so nice there are people who see me normal and not as if I was from Mars..

[Babyluv12]

Oh Nikoletta, I really don't have any words to make you feel better. Just know nothing lasts forever. Try to make the most of every moment and always remember those moments. I share your pain as well and everytime I see the little garden at my moms it makes me really sad. It's really amazing how such a little guy can have such a big heart. I am sure Sakis did his best to hold on and knows you did all you could for him. Best wishes always.

[Nikoletta]

Dear Aly thank you, your message made me cry.. Wish my baby knew that I did everything I knew. I searched a lot on the internet, I made a lot of phonecalls, I talked with his vet everyday. But I am unforgiven because his last day I went out with him and visited another doctor (he was so cold - working only for money); I am unforgiven because: a) It was cold outside and my baby was ready to leave us, I drived 20 minutes in a bad road and my baby was shaking b) It was like I doubt our vet, who is an excellent person and doctor. And I scream that loud when his little soul started to fly away.. I scared him and his eyes left semi-opened and scared..
I miss him to death.. :(